Sunday, February 13, 2011

birds painting and letting it sink in

When I was preg there were so many things I dreamed about....could.not.wait.for. One of them was to get the good morning greeting from a baby again. Not the bad kind of good morning greeting that involves screaming at 3 a.m. No, this is the dreamy kind where you softly walk into baby's room the sunlight is slowly filtering in and all you can hear is baby's babble. Then you wait for baby to see you and there it is... As soon as Hallie sees my face she stops grabbing on her feet and talking to her mobile and gives me the biggest, happiest, most pure smile possible. In that moment I think my smile is as big as hers and my whole body feels like it will burst. I know that sounds so third grade or something but really every particle in my body just thinks it might burst with happiness. I meant to take a photo of that this morning but I didn't want to ruin the moment. I just hope I will never forget this. I'm hoping with this last baby that maybe things will finally sink in. That I can hold on to the memories a little bit better because its so hard to remember my other two as babies and the exact feelings I had back then. I want to absorb everything. I'm journaling, taking pictures, taking video, but what I want it to REMEMBER the exact feeling of her soft skin, her surprised eyes when she hears a noise she doesn't know, of nursing, the sounds of her baby babble, her one-toothed smile, her smell... some have tried to bottle it but its not possible. I think its a little bit of heaven.
So the painting was a little collaboration I did with my BF Julie and was a present for M's mom. I made some really happy memories making this so it makes me smile. It is based on a painting at OP Jenkins but I think this one took on a life of its own.

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